Reflection: Self-Note

This year has been full of new things, good and bad. Change is always good, and I almost ask for it. I’ve gone through a phase of reflection and I realize I’m burnt out. This summer has exhausted physically and mentally. I feel like I was on top of everything and being my perfectionist self as I have always been. I lost a dear friend earlier this year and I hear news that someone’s sick or someone died all the time. This dragged me down so much this year, and it’s been difficult. Thankfully, work kept me very busy, but I realized I’ve exhausted myself in that aspect as well.

This is a bad habit that I should eventually snap out of, but I drop everything when I’m not feeling it. And this hit me extra hard this year. When I’m constantly hearing bad and negative news around me, it just adds up to stress, and this ‘screw it’ mentality is the result. I don’t work out, I don’t talk, I don’t eat properly, I don’t work, I just want to sleep. The past couple of months have been that way for me. Not only that, but I’ve also been very sensitive to others’ actions and words; even with the slightest things.

I’ve been tired. Tired of people, tired of my daily routine, tired of everything. Always being a tired 25-year old is not healthy, so I’ve been working on a couple of things to finish off the year (can’t believe we only have about 2 more months) on a more positive note!

  • Don’t bring work home – Unless my boss tells me to 🙂 I’ve been so paranoid about not missing anything work-related since I’m new to my job and I don’t want to look bad. I constantly check my work e-mails and am ready to respond to anything. I realize this is not a healthy habit, so I decided to let go a bit and to leave work at work.
  • Eat out less – Let’s be real. Us millennials spend 90% of our money eating out, and this has recently become such a problem for me. Exhaustion leads to laziness, so I haven’t packed lunches like I used to. I’m working on eating out less, because literally nothing I eat out tastes good anymore. If I do eat out, I’m going with healthier options!
  • Exercise, even if it’s for a bit – What happened to filling all the rings for my Apple Watch? Whether it’s after work, before work, or even walking the dog, I need to work on being more active every day.
  • Positive only – Not that I have negative people around me, but I need to surround myself with people who can give me positive energy. Hopefully I come off as a positive person to my surroundings as well!
  • Learn to say no – I’m usually always down for anything, but I need to learn to say no too. I exhaust myself with too many plans so that pattern cannot continue! I’m realizing how important it is to balance social life as a full-time working adult. I keep thinking I’m in college and I have all these things I want to do, but I can’t and that is the reality.
  • Focus on myself –  I’ve always cared so much about others more than myself, their actions and words; mainly because I don’t want to have conflicts and I hate bad relationships with anyone. I need to really learn how to care about myself; more of what I want and what’s best for me, even if that means letting go of some people in my life.
  • Have a positive mindset – There’s always bad things, and I’ll only deal with more going forward as I get older. Learn to accept it and deal with a positive mindset because everything will be okay in the end.

Didn’t mean to complain, but just a reflection on my current life! Thank you to each one of you who always take the time to read my posts and give me feedback. I truly appreciate it and it really means so much to me!

CRYSTALL

acupofowl